P.I.E.S. Anyone?

P.I.E.S. The Guide To Self Care For Women Over 40

Who Doesn't Love P.I.E.S.?

No, I'm not talking about desserts, though I am a sucker for a chocolate cream pie... I'm talking about an acronym that I learned from a support group that helped through one of the darkest chapters of my life... 

Which led me to become very aware of 'self-care' and how important it is. 

And also, led to this blog's creation.

Self Care For Women Over 40

So, what does P.I.E.S. stand for?

Physical

Intellectual

Emotional

Spiritual

To put it more plainly... one of the most difficult things to hear when you are struggling with the betrayal of an unfaithful spouse is the modern psychological mantra of 'work on yourself.' 

And the reason this is so difficult to hear is because you've already been 'cast aside' for someone else... someone 'better', and now you're being told to 'work on yourself.'  This just reinforces that nagging, self-doubt that you weren't good enough and you have to become better...

Luckily, the infidelity expert that came up with P.I.E.S. Dr. Joe Beam, recognized this and created P.I.E.S. to be a more 'empowering' and less 'self-defeating way' not just to 'say' "Work on Yourself," but to explain what it means and more importantly, how to do it. 

P.I.E.S. strengthens us.  P.I.E.S. empowers us.  It is not that we were not good enough.  It is that by doing these things, we build ourselves up so that we can be more accepting of ourselves... so that we can love ourselves... so that we can love and accept ourselves so that we know that our wayward spouses are the problem, not us.  That their own problems caused their infidelity, not us not being good enough.  And when you are a betrayed spouse, one of the most difficult things you'll have to do is be good enough for you so that you can know that it wasn't you who wasn't good enough..

I've given P.I.E.S as advice to many a friend.  Not just those facing infidelity from their partner, but also to friends who are struggling with depression or mental illness.

And every one I've ever offer P.I.E.S to, who has worked on their own P.I.E.S. has seen positive results from it.

Physical can relate to anything physical from getting your hair or nails done and looking pretty, to exercising and feeling and getting healthier from it.

Intellectual can be going back to school for a new career, or taking a class... and you can take all kinds of classes... college campuses, or a local civic association. Libraries offer classes. Heck, you can take 'free' classes for all kinds of things online... You could take a class in painting, or sculpting.  Or in Quickbooks or Word, or Excel.  You could hop on YouTube and find videos that will teach you "How To Speak Italian" and learn Italian.    

Emotional work can be something as simple as doing daily affirmations.  Or going to the library to check out books ( or read them online) on how to develop better communication skills. 

Spiritual-  while most easily related to religion, recognizing any kind of 'higher power' than yourself, even just nature, is how you can work on your own 'spiritual' work. 

This blog is centrally focused on the "Self Care" that P.I.E.S is... and I dedicated it to women over 40 because, well... I am a woman over 40 and at 43 years old as of the inception of this blog... I've learned that once you're over 40, you're probably going to find yourself facing and having to deal with some kind of sh*t.... infidelity, divorce, mid-life crisis, empty nest syndrome, health issues...

And I want to use P.I.E.S. to help you with the 'self care' you need to get through whatever it is you need to get through.